Child # 2 for you?

Is wanting a 2nd child the product of peer/family pressure, the natural order of things or merely wanting a 2nd try at what you didn't do the 1st time? A 2nd chance to experience the more precious moments with some experience and confidence in your back pocket...or total lunacy/forgetfulness of the "walking zombie" side effect?

I think about it - my kid's 21 months old and I think it would be impossible, idiotic and irresponsible to bring another child into the mix. Financially, how can we do it? Ok, I thought it was financially impossible before #1 so I guess anything's possible there - "you make it work" - but why choose to struggle?

Mentally, I cannot spare more brain cell loss from sleep deprivation. Naomi Watts said that she had a lobotomy after her 1st child which left her w/ 1/2 a brain and that w/ her 2nd child, the other 1/2 was taken. I held onto that magazine snippet for awhile, taking comfort in the proof that I wasn't the only one to feel like I'd become a supreme dumb ass.

Emotionally, I don't know if I'd be a better mom w/ even MORE sleep deprivation, leaving me fuzzy-headed & unstable and that's not including the possibility of post-partum depression.

"He needs a playmate." Oh yeah? What if I have a girl? "Oh, they won't play together..." but I 'haveta do it'? Bah Humbug!

Will I be his sole playmate, exhausting myself even further? Doubtful - his cousin's around. Loads of family. He's personable. So that's covered.

Will another child make him regress and slow progress (as my ped. mentioned to me a couple months back - "Don't have another child too soon. He's growing so rapidly; he may stop due to regression.") Well, there's no need to twist my arm there, Doc. I'm in NO rush.

Will a sibling create a household of constant bickering/fighting and noise? Probably - but that's normal. Do I WANT that? Nope. Could it create a quieter household b/c they'll entertain each other? Probably - but do I want that? Still...nope.

I want more vacations like end of July - Wed. thru Sun. away - sleeping whenever I wanted to, swimming, soaking up the sun, working out and did I mention sleeping whenver I wanted? I'M clearly regressing. I chose to have a kid, so I'm doing it - being a good Mommy for him - but I still cannot fathom adding a 2nd child.

Yet, I do still think about it. ?!!? Not thinking clearly sure muddles up my clear thinking.